FJ-Hellooooooo AWA fans, and welcome to ALL JAKKED UP! I'm Frank Jackson, and with you as always-

HS-(Cutting him off)Is the man who needs no introduction, Herb "I'm about to beat Frank Jackson in a Pie-In-Your-Eye Match" Summer!

FJ-...

HS-What??

FJ-I hate you.

HS-Well, you'll get to take all that aggression out tonight, big boy. As a matter of fact, I-

(Suddenly, pyros erupt in a dizzying, dazzling array. At that point, a rendition of "Send in the Clowns" by Frank Sinatra is playing over the PA system as an entourage of clowns with suitcases emerge from the entranceway. They all line the ramp, half on one side, half on the other.

As the song ends, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" then plays over the PA. The clowns open their suitcases, pull out bowling pins, and each raise their pin so that the fat part of the pin crosses with the pin of the clown standing opposite them. Mr. Happy walks out in his GQ style outfit with Luscious Lori by his side. Smiling like a butcher's dog, he makes his way to the ring holding the ropes for his beloved. Reaching inside his jacket, Mr. Happy pulls out a mic, taps it a few times and then speaks...)

"Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, to each and every one of you tonight I say welcome to the show to be watched around the world. At this time, let me introduce you to your special ring announcers as they will be making their debut appearance...or should I say appearances throughout the course of our broadcast. You all have seen them before at one card or another. Please...extend a warm Nebraska welcome for The Lone Star Outlaws, Hangman and Snakebite!!!!!"

(The two masked men who have stirred up trouble in previous cards walk out to a mixed pop. One masked man is rather huge in size, the other one small, but they both are rather thick and well built proportionally. They both stand behind Mr. Happy and Luscious Lori, drinking out of Jack Daniels bottles.)

"We've got a little bit of everything for everyone. Tonight, All Jacked Up will be everything for everyone. This show plans to be huge and if there's one thing the crowd loves to see, it's a HUGE Mr. Happy ALL JACKED UP!!!!"

"Now, let's wrap up by doing two things. First....the winner of the All Jacked Up fantasy dream date. When I found out who this lucky guy was, I was extremely pleased to find out he worked at my favorite place to shop...that being WAL-MART!!!! So let's introduce the winner at this time. Please put your hands together for CSM BILL!!!!!!"

(A rather awkward looking redheaded guy walks out from the back. He wears glasses and is smiling a bit goofy, but still gets a warm pop from the crowd. He gets in the ring and stands next to Mr. Happy, shaking his hand and thanking him.)

"Now, Bill, you seem like an okay guy to me. Being a CSM can be a tough job from what I see. I mean...all those places you have to go, and no fine women to accompany you anywhere. So...for tonight, you get front row seats with not just Inviting Isabel...oh no. You guys are always doing twice the work of most other people I see...so for tonight you get TWICE THE WOMEN!!! Bring on out his terrific twosome!!!!!"

("I Want Your Sex" by George Michaels is played as out struts Inviting Isabel and Stunning Sabrina, a former Texas Belle from Hell, as Bill's face is one of shock and surprise. He starts jumping up and down as they make their way to the ring. They then accompany him next to his seat at ringside as they drape all over him to the crowd's catcalls and whistles.)

(Mr. Happy continues)

"Well, it looks like I'm starting this show out the right way...MY way! So, let's continue with the Happy tradition shall we? OH LADIES!!!!!

Happy-And if you liked that, I bet you can't WAIT for what's to come!

FJ-Well, the opening ceremonies, if that's what you want to call it, is finally done. We're going to take you now to the TV Title match.

HS-That's right Frank. These men have a lot of history. I mean, Blaze and Cool have hated each other for months!

FJ-What a great way to start off this show! Let's get to the ring!

Johnny Cool vs. John Blaze vs. Nightmist vs. "Sexy" Rexx Jansen(TV Title Match)

"Too Cool For You" by The Cool Brothers blasts through the PA, and Johnny Cool emerges from under the Jakked Up entry way. He gets a fair amount of boos as Cool hops up onto the ring apron and climbs up the outside of the turnbuckles, before taunting the crowd. Cool then climbs down in the ring and waits in his corner.

"Mr. Scary" by Dokken is cued, and "Sexy" Rexx Jansen exits the entry way to a HUGE pop. Vessa is with him, and has in her hand the coveted AWA TV Title Belt. Jansen slides in the ring and poses in the center, as pyros go off behind him. Jansen then goes to his corner, as Vessa hands the ref the TV belt, who displays it to the crowd. Then, oddly, Rexx and Cool have brief exchange.

FJ-Hmm, Cool and Jansen just had a few words. I wonder what that was about.

"Victory" by Puff Daddy is cued, and John Blaze heads to the ring. He gets a decent pop, and greets several fans on the way to the ring. He walks up the steps and climbs in the ring. Again, Cool and Jansen have an exchange, and this time Blaze is involved.

"A little warm death" by Cassanda Wilson is cued, and Nightmist heads to ringside to several boos. Nightmare is at his side.

FJ-Here we go, the first match of All Jakked Up!

The bell rings, and all four men look at each other for a split second, until the three other competitors attack Nightmist!

FJ-Whoa! I think we're seeing exactly how the boys in the back feel about all the advantages EE has gotten tonight!

The three rock Nightmist with punches, and Blaze drops Nightmist with a scoop slam. Johnny Cool quickly scales the turnbuckles, and hits the Loser Destruction as Blaze holds Nightmist down. The crowd is going nuts, as Blaze lifts Nightmist, and nails the Blazer! "Sexy" Rexx then yells something to both men, and the stand up the wobbly Nightmist up. Cool fires Nightmist into the ropes, and Cool and Blaze both back body drop Nightmist into Rexx's awaiting arms, who connects with a big sitdown powerbomb! Cool begins to argue with Blaze over who gets to pin Nightmist, as Jansen quickly hooks his legs over Nightmist's shoulders for the 1,2,3!

Winner via pinfall, and STILL AWA TV Champion, "Sexy" Rexx jansen!

FJ-Unbelievable! EE must be livid!

HS-and look at Johnny Cool! Rexx Jansen just completely robbed the other three men in that ring!

"Sexy" Rexx then slides back in the ring, as Nightmare helps Nightmist out of the ring. Johnny Cool and John Blaze both leave on their own accord, as Jansen climbs up all four turnbuckles and displays his belt. Vessa stands in the center of the ring, admiring him. When Jansen gets on the turnbuckle facing away from the entrance, however, the crowd suddenly stirs as a figure immerged from the entrance, wearing a yellow cloak. The man slipped in the ring, and without Rexx noticing, KO'd Vessa!

FJ-Who's that!? He just clocked Vessa! Is that the cloaked figure we've been seeing lately?

HS-No! That's someone else!

The man in the cloak then runs and drives his elbow into the back of Rexx, knocking him from the turnbuckle. He then pulls Rexx to the center of the ring, shoves his head between his legs, and powerbombs him. The figure then pulls Rexx over into a liontamer submission out of the powerbomb.

FJ-Wait a minute, we've seen that move before!

As the cloaked man holds Rexx down in the move, he shakes his head back and forth, throwing the hood of. This reveals him to be former AWA TV champion, Freddy "The Butcher" Landstrom!!

HS and FJ-It's Freddy Landstrom!!!

Freddy finally drops Jansen, and calls for a mic. He then holds up the TV Title, and begins to speak.

Landstrom-That's right, i'm back. After a long tour of the orient, I'm here to take back what's rightfully mine. (An Asshole chants starts) Shut up! You pinheads never change. If you idiots can't remember correctly, I was never fairly beaten for this title!

HS-He's right, the man's right! Jansen only won with help from Cho!

Landstrom-But being the honest man that I am, I won't "steal" this belt from Jansen like he did from me. So I'm demanding a title shot soon, Jansen. And you and I will be running into each other just like this until that shot is granted!

Landstrom then drops the mic, and throws the belt down at the fallen Jansen's feet. He then leaves, to massive boos.

FJ-Man, that was only the first match, and already the most bloodthirsty man in AWA history has returned!

HS-I can't believe President Gray would allow that animal back in here..

FJ-Speaking of which, I think-

"Hail to the Chief" Is cued, and President Gray hits the ring, wearing Adidas pants with the double white stripe, and martial arts shoes. He doesn't wear a shirt, and suprisingly, President Gray is fairly muscular.

HS-I don't think Leon Cho realized Mr. Gray has been training in the martial arts for over 15 years.

FJ-I don't think it matters. Cho is on a mission tonight. I saw him in the back, and he was pissed!

Leon Cho's music is cued, and he hits the ring at a run. Cho chases Gray out of the ring, as Jack Happy rolls the filing cabinet out to ringside. Finally, Gray gets back in the ring, and Cho begins the assualt. After several open hand slap, Gray gets dropped with a belly-to-belly suplex. Gray quickly rolls out of the ring, but to the delight of the crowd, Gray is thrown back in the ring by Jack Happy. Gray is able to avoid Cho for another minute, when a buzzer sounds, and Happy throws the drawer into the ring. There are several different objects thrown in the ring, but Gray grabs the entire drawer, and catches Cho in the head, sending him back against the ropes. Gray drops the bent drawer, and finds a big metal stapler. Cho stumbles towards Gray, who clocks him again, this time with the stapler. This busts Cho open, and he falls to the ground. Gray, getting some confidence, Climbs to the top turnbuckle, but is dizzied by the heights. He then slowly climbs down to second turnbuckle, but this is still to high. Finally, Gray slips down to the bottom turnbuckle, before jumping off with a driving elbow. Cho was able to roll out of the way, however, and went on the offensive. Cho hit a dropkick as Gray stumbled up, and Gray slid out of the ring. Happy immediatly chased him around the ring, and chased him right into a moonsault off the top rope from Cho! Cho climbed back in the ring, but Gray was able to groggily get back in at a nine count. Cho fired Gray into the ropes and went for a Pump Kick, but amazingly, Gray front-rolled under Cho's Kick, and Cho turns around to kick hit with a karate kick to the mid section. Cho stumbles back against the ropes, as Happy throws in cabinet number two in. This one includes an electric pencil sharpener as well as other office items. Gray takes the Sharpener, and simply bounces it off Cho's head, dropping him to his knees. Gray then connected with a running football kick, dropping Cho to his back. Gray begins climbing back to the bottom turnbuckle, but Cho quickly gets up, and nails a few deadly chops, knocking Gray against the turnbuckle. The crowd really gets behind Cho, and Cho hiptoss' Gray out of the turnbuckle. Happy then throws in the final cabinet in, and dumps all kinds of crazy stuff through the ring. Gray stumbles to his feet, and Cho hits two more big chops, backing Gray over the cabinet. Oddly, Gray's foot gets stuck down in a bedpan(Yes,a bedpan) as Cho hits another chop. Cho then signals for the pump kick, but Gray hits an amazing spinning X-Pac back heel kick to the face, with the metal bedpan on the foot. This KO's Cho, and Gray falls down on the prone figure to get the 1,2,3!

Winner via pinfall, President Gray!

FJ-Amazing! Gray pulled it off! Man, this PPV is NOT going as Happy planned!

Gray stumbles to the back, and Cho is helped out as the ring is cleared. Happy simply waits in the ring, since his match is next.

"Walk" by Pantera is cued, and Killspree comes to ringside with a trashcan full of weapons. He gets a decent pop, and even more boos. Killspree throws the can in, and slides in the ring.

The two men begin trading blows from the start, with Happy's having more effect. Finally, Happy fired Killspree into the ropes, and backdropped him on the pile of weapons. As Killspree writhed in pain, Happy hopped out of the ring, and went backstage. A few seconds later, Happy returns with a ladder, much to the crowd's approval. Happy slides the ladder under the rope, and sets it up between the second and third turnbuckles. Happy whips Killspree into the ladder, making a loud crack. Killspree falls to the ground in pain, and Happy quickly scales the turnbuckles, standing the ladder up in front of him. Happy then jumps on the ladder, and brings the ladder with his full weight down on the prone Killspree! Happy pulls the ladder off and goes for the cover, only getting a two count. Happy then retrieves a cookie sheet from Killsprees can of weapons, and dents it over Killspree's head, with a bang. Happy sets up for a piledriver on the cookie sheet, but Killspree was able to backdrop him instead, right on to the ladder. Killspree then retrieved his bat out of the can, and nailed Happy with it 3 or 4 times. Killspree then went under the ring, and much to the crowd's liking, pulled out a car hood! he slid the hood in the ring, and laid Happy on it. He then set the ladder on top of Happy, and climbed to the top rope. At this time, Luscious Lori came to ringside and climbed to the apron. Killspree finally mounted the turnbuckle and nailed the Fade to Black frogsplash, sandwiching Happy between the ladder and car hood. Killspree pushed the ladder off of him, and hooked the leg. The ref counted two, but then Lori leaped off the top rope, hitting a moonsault on the ref, breaking the count! It took a second for Killspree to realize what happened, but he immediatly got up and grabbed Lori by the throat. Killspree forced her back against the ropes, and started rearing back to hit her, when Happy finally slipped up behind Killspree and nailed the Happy Daze. He laid down for the cover, but before the second ref could get in position, Legion hit the ring, chair in hand. Legion swung the chair down at Happy while he made the cover, but Jack rolled off, so Legion nailed Killspree instead. Lori then slipped behind Legion and hit a Happy Daze of her own, and Happy covered Killspree for the 1,2,3!

Winner via pinfall, and NEW hardcore champion, Mr. Jack Happy!

FJ-That was a great win for Happy! However, we'll now be leaving, because our match is next!

HS-I can't beleive i'm getting in the ring with you. Say your prayers, Frank...

The two exit, as "Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith is cued up as out steps the duo of Hangman and Snakebite. They take over the announcer's table as they put on the headsets to call the next match.)

("I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred cues up over the loudspeakers as out walks Frank Jackson. The music angers him a little as the crowd is laughing at the selection. He makes his way to the ring, motioning for it to stop.)

("Macho Man" is next played for Herb Summer as he rolls with the selection, trying to muscle pose for the crowd as the audience is in stitches. He then enters the ring and gives Frank the evil eye.)

Hangman: Now THIS should be a classic match. One for the ages. Wouldn't you agree brother?

Snakebite: Oh most certainly! Not only are these two men world-class announcers, but they're also bitter rivals and noted fighters!!!

Hangman: What?

Snakebite: Okay...maybe I went a tad overboard

Hangman: Yeah, I think you need a life-preserver or something.

The two men talk trash on each other before locking up. Frank powers Herb to the corner of the ropes. Once there, he starts unloading on the unsuspecting Herb as the crowd counts to 10 with his turnbuckle blows.

Snakebite: That's gonna leave a mark. Man, that pie up there is making me hungry.

Hangman: Me too, brother. That's why I orderd us a couple. Whaddya think? (Setting the pies on the table)

Frank climbs off a woozy Herb and then whips him into the ropes and spears him, accidentally hitting the referee too. The crowd goes wild as Frank then gives Herb a flying elbowdrop off the top rope and points to the ladder. He starts to climb it quickly.

Snakebite: Ya wanna know what I think? I think you better bring one of those pies with us. It's time to get paid.

Hangman: Works for me (grabs a pie).

Frank grabs the pie and hops down off the ladder as a stunned Herb makes it very slowly to his feet. Frank holds Herb's chin up as he winds back with the pie. As he does, Hangman and Snakebite hit the ring. Snakebite shoves Herb out of the way at the last minute and takes the pie smack dab in the face. The crowd gasps as Snakebite laughs and starts to lick the pie off his face. Frank is a bit stunned as he starts to back up. Hangman, setting the pie he grabbed to one corner, taps Frank on the shoulder and when he turns around, nails a clothesline from hell on him!!! Snakebite then grabs the pie from the corner and helps revive a badly shaken up Herb. He gives Herb the pie as he slips out of the ring. Hangman revives the ref as he slips out as well. The ref comes to just as Herb bounces off the ropes and viciously slams the pie in Frank's face. The ref signals for the bell.

The winner of the Pie-In-Your-Eye Ladder Match: HERB SUMMER!!!!!!

Snakebite(returns to the booth)-That's what i'm talking about! A winner, a champion, a class act, Herb Summer!

Hangman-Ahh.. our work here is done..

The two men leave the chaos, as Herb Summer finally returns to the announcing booth.

HS-I did it! I'm the champ! I-

Suddenly, Jackson slips out of the ring and dives over the announcer's table, fighting with Herb. Security breaks them up, and the two are escorted to the back.

("Back In The Saddle" blasts over the speakers as once more, Hangman and Snakebite return to ringside, fresh bottles of Jack Daniels in their hands. They take over the announcer's table as they get ready to call the next match.)

("Come With Me" by Puff Daddy and Jimmy Page as out emerges Walrus, accompanied to the ring by his special guests, the Leather Clad Babes. Walrus enters the ring as the girls watch on from ringside. "You Shook Me All Night" by AC/DC then blares over the speakers as 'The Showstopper' Bruce Baines makes his way to the ring. The ref holds the US belt up high for everyone in the viewing audience to see as he then calls for the bell.)

The two men circle each other and then lock up. Walrus quickly gains the advantage with a boot to the stomach followed by a whip into the ropes. When Baines bounces back, Walrus catches him flush with a clothesline from Hell.

Hangman: Nice...very nice.

Snakebite: What? The clothesline or the women?

Hangman: Does it really matter.

Snakebite: Nah, not really.

Next, Walrus hits with a powerslam and a perfectly executed hanging vertical suplex. However, on the fall back, his head still takes a ding from the mat. So, he's a bit woozy as he gets to his feet. Slowly, the Walrus starts to go towards the American Flag.

Hangman: Wow, this one's about over. Bruce sure did us proud. Hmmm...

Snakebite: What's on your mind?

Hangman: Jack Daniels or Guiness?

Snakebite: Never and either/or brother...never either/or.

As the Walrus reaches the second turnbuckle, Bruce comes alive. He charges the Walrus, causing Walrus to slam into the third turnbuckle. Stunned, Bruce Baines climbs up next to him and delivers a top rope German Suplex!!! Both men lie motionless in the middle of the ring as the ref begins his count.

Snakebite: Let's see...an American lands a German suplex on a Brit. I'm feeling the international love around here!!!!

Hangman: I think you need to feel another Jack Daniels.

Snakebite: Agreed.

At seven, both men rise. Both begin to exchange furious rights and lefts. No one really gets an advantage as they go to each corner turnbuckle. Fists, elbows, stomps to the gut...it's as if each men are reaching down deep. Even bodyslams are exchanged with no signficant deterring effect. Both men bounce off the ropes and clothesline each other. They stare at each other unfazed. Bouncing off a second time, they both connect with flying forearms. This time, neither one moves.

Hangman: Now THIS is a barn burner!!!!

Snakebite: Watch what ya say. This is Nebraska you know.

Slowly, both men make it to their feet. They start to climb the opposing turnbuckles at the same time as the crowd goes wild. At the top, they stop, turn around and see each other. Instead of grabbing each other's flag, they jump down and charge each other. Bruce ducks a clothesline from Walrus. Walrus swings again only for Bruce to nail a floatover DDT.

Bruce then begins an offensive flurry. He hits a swinging neckbreaker followed by a legdrop. Next a Russian legsweep followed by an elbowdrop. Finally, Baines applies a spinning toehold.

Hangman: Somebody ate their Wheaties.

Snakebite: Or Cornflakes.

Hangman: Oh yeah...we are in Nebraska.

Snakebite: No more JD for you brother.

While in the toehold, Walrus lands a haymaker on the bent over Baines. The blow gives Walrus enough time to kick in his own offensive series. The Walrus uses his size and weight advantage to deliver a combination of high impact moves. First, Walrus hits a butterfly suplex. After a shoulderbreaker, the Walrus goes for a belly to back suplex. However, on the way down, Baines fires off a few rights. Both men lie on the ground, breathing hard.

Hangman: Wonder if Walrus would mind if I said hi to the ladies?

Snakebite: You go right on ahead brother. Hey, do I get your bottle of JD?

Hangman: Hmmm...maybe I'll just wave to 'em.

Snakebite: Damn.

Both men start to slowly come to. As the Leather Clad Babes see Walrus starting to move, they start to erotically dance. Walrus sees them out of the corner of his eye. He starts to dance back at them, getting to his feet, gyrating his body as he does so.

Hangman: I'm sensing a comeback!

Snakebite: Yeah, some of those moves went out of style like fifteen years ago.

Hangman: They're baaaaaack!!!

Baines makes it to his feet as well. He starts sneaking towards Walrus' flag. The babes start to point over to him. Walrus stops his performance and rockets towards him. Baines is flipped inside out from a clothesline to the back of the head.

Hangman: Who's got the chalk?

Snakebite: Where's Quincy at when ya need him?

Walrus starts to walk towards Baines' corner. The referee is slightly out of position and doesn't see Baines swing his arm up in desperation and nail Walrus with a low blow.

Baines gets to his feet and slings Walrus to the turnbuckle. As Walrus slams out of the corner, Baines bounces off the ropes and lands a running bulldog. Still, both men are feeling the effects of this war. As Baines gets to his feet, Walrus gets a second wind and rises up under Baines. Baines sits on h is shoulders, flailing away madly. Walrus falls back as both men slam hard into the mat.

Hangman: I'm sensing some hostilities here.

Snakebite: Use the force Bruce!! Use the force!!!

Both men make it to their knees facing each other. They start duking it out. No one gains a clear advantage until Walrus nails Baines with a headbutt. Walrus starts to crawl towards the pole. Baines grabs at his boot, only to get kicked off by Walrus' other boot. Walrus makes it to his feet and starts to climb the pole. Baines isn't giving up as he jumps on Walrus' back, punching like a madman. Walrus keeps climbing.

Hangman: Walrus should call Orkin.

Snakebite: Why?

Hangman: They're number one against pests.

Walrus swings a blind elbow that connects. Baines falls from the top rope. Walrus continues his climb.

Hangman: Say hello to your next US champ.

The crowd starts to boo. From the back emerges Max Disaster. He runs to the ring as if shot out from a cannon. He knocks Walrus off just as Walrus starts to grab the flag. The ref rings for the bell. Max and Bruce continue the beat-down, until Punisher and Nightmist hit the ring more than evening up the odds. By then the damage is done though.

Winner by DQ: The Walrus.

("Back in the Saddle" plays once again as the familiar duo walk back to the announcer's table. They sit down and take a swig from their respective Jack Daniels bottle.)

("Let's Go Crazy" by Prince blares over the PA system. Mr. Happy walks over to the side of the ring and stands on a raised platform. He taps the mic a few times and then speaks...)

"My, my, MY! The action is intense, the action is hot! And, if there's one thing the crowd LOVES to see, it's hot and intense action coming from something...of Mr. Happy's"

"Now, Prez, since you're already in that ring...why don't ya just stay there along with your pal Leo because, as you two know, you're already in the big, dangerous, dance. However...here's where it gets fun. Two down and six to go. So let's announce the other six picks for the sadistic sketch comedy shall we?"

(One by one the contestants are announced. Herb Summer, John Blaze, Lars Fredrickson, and Ice Tre hit the ring as expected. Then, Mr. Happy pauses as the others pace around the ring.)

"Getting excited? Now for the other two surprises. We, at EE, have thought long and hard about the final two and the winners are....Transfusion and our very own Soviet Silencer! Come on down! You're the final two contestants on the murderous mayhem known as the main event!!!"

(The final two wrestlers storm out. The bell rings and the combatants pair off.)

Leon Cho continues his battle with Prez Gray. The Soviet Silencer squares off against Herb Summer. Lars Fredrickson and John Blaze form an unlikely partnership as they attack Ice Tre as Transfusion watches on, crouched against the turnbuckle.

Hangman: This is it! The moment we've been waiting for!!!

Snakebite: What? Free rounds of Jack Daniels?

Hangman: Hmm...this the SECOND moment we've been waiting for.

Soviet Silencer nails herb with a savat kick, knocking him flat. Herb attempts to legsweep Soviet Silencer, only for Silencer to pull off a standing 360 degree body splash. Herb does not move.

Leon Cho and Prez Gray exchange haymakers. Gray quickly gains the advantage with a poke to the eye followed by a neckbreaker. Prez Gray leaps on him and starts pounding on him.

Hangman: Okay. The Prez is beating up a wrestler.

Snakebite: Retired wrestler. Fired wrestler. Former AWA wrestler...okay?!?!?!?!

Hangman: Touchy, touchy.

Transfusion slowly starts to climb the pole. The crowd starts to go crazy. Lars and Blaze become aware of his shenanigans. Lars slingshoots Tre into a climbing Transfusion. As Transfusion falls, Blaze bounces off the ropes and nails a flying bodysplash.

Hangman: What teamwork!! There's no "I" in team.

Snakebite: Yeah there is.....Injured.

The Soviet Silencer walks over to Prez Gray as he now has Leon Cho against the turnbuckle. Both Silencer and the Prez unload on a battered Cho. Gray raises his hands to celebrate. Soviet Silencer capitalizes when his back is turned. Soviet Silencer sneaks up behind him and drills him with a Scorpion Death Drop!

Hangman: Ouch! That's gonna leave a mark.

Snakebite: Remind me to cry later.

Herb Summer tries to climb the pole at this point. No one sees him as he nears the top. From the back storms out an angry Frank Jackson.

Hangman: Hey, let's have some fun.

Snakebite: Agreed.

Hangman and Snakebite motion for Frank. Frank Jackson angrily steps over. Somehow, Hangman smooths things over with him, hands him the pie, and gives him a simple plan of action. Frank walks over and winds back with the pie. He hurls it in Herb's direction. At the last moment, Herb ducks and the pie hits Transfusion flush in the face. As Herb laughs at Frank, Transfusion sneaks up behind. He taps Herb on the shoulder. When Herb turns around, Transfusion waves bye-bye, kicks him in the gut, and nails the D.O.A.!!!

Frank is laughing up a storm outside the ring. He doesn't see Snakebite spring onto the announcer's table. Hangman spins Frank around and gives him a short-arm clothesline. Hangman then shoots him into Snakebite as Snakebite spears him...the Texas Pinebox Special!!!!

Hangman and Snakebite then return to the table as the paramedics are called in to take out a prone Frank Jackson. Soviet Silencer kicks out an unconscious Herb Summer as well....as the action continues. Lars and John start fighting outside the ring, each with a steel chair in hand. Metal on metal clash as the clanging sound is heard throughout the arena. Ice Tre and Leon Cho are each going up the pole. Both start exchanging blows as they are almost within arm's reach of the envelopes.

Hangman: Two brave men boldly going where no schmuck would even think about going.

Snakebite: Damn! Look at 'em climb! They've gotta be half monkey or something...

Like a bullet, Soviet Silencer climbs the pole. Climbing behind and over Cho, she scissors her legs around his head.

Hangman: No way!

Snakebite: Prepare for take-off!!!

Instead of grabbing the envelopes, she punches Ice Tre to shake him up and then delivers a Frankensteiner off the top of the pole and outside to the concrete!!!

Hangman: I...I...did you...?

Snakebite: No more JD for me.

Hangman: What?

Snakebite: Wait a sec. Better have another shot.

Hangman: Might want to see if Cho or Silencer need a drink.

Snakebite: They're beyond that at this point.

Prez Gray climbs behind a woozy Ice Tre who is still on the pole. Grabbing his arms he surprises everyone with a Razor's Edge!!! The move knocks out Ice Tre, but also crushes Gray's back. Prez Gray slips to the outside, doubled over.

Hangman: Mr. Happy's out as well as Crimson Dream and the Texas Belles from Hell. They're all checking out the condition of The Soviet Silencer.

Snakebite: Lars is getting a little too close to the group. That's not good.

Hangman: Yeah it is. More bang for the buck.

Lars drops John with a vicious blow to the back of the head. John lies still on the harsh concrete, the back of his head split wide open. As Lars celebrates, he accidentally bumps against Alluring Amanda, sending her into the announcer's table.

Hangman: Umm....hi, how ya doing?

Snakebite: Hey, we didn't do it. Here...use this (giving Amanda the Timekeeper's bell).

Marvelous Michelle flips around to face Lars and starts yelling at him. Lars laughs it off and then boots her in the stomach. As she doubles over, he puts her head in between his legs in a powerbomb position. However, he takes his time, smiling cheesily and gyrating his hips in a lewd way. However, the time spent playing up to the crowd costs him dearly. Alluring Amanda leaps over the doubled over Marvelous Michelle and connects flush with the timekeeper's bell. The front of Lars' forehead is busted wide open as he lies motionless just a few feet from where John Blaze fell. The EE members walk off to the back, taking Soviet Silencer with them.

Hangman: Ding dumb! The Belle rang his bell.

Snakebite: The maintenance crew is gonna earn their pay tonight!

Hangman: Somebody better call a medic. Looks like we gotta couple bleeders here.

The crowd is in a frenzy at this point. The only ones in the ring now are Prez Gray and Transfusion. Transfusion taunts a weakened Prez Gray. After slapping him a few times, he hits a bodyslam followed by a kneedrop. Gray writhes in pain.

Hangman: Now this is pretty good.

Snakebite: Thank you! I knew you'd agree that the Prez would get his ass kicked by a wrestler!

Hangman: Actually, I was commentating on the JD.

Snakebite: Oh.

Transfusion looks at the audience and signals for the D.O.A. The crowd explodes as he starts to lift up the battered President. Suddenly, the lights dim, as if on cue. When they come back on, the camera pans over to the front row section where the winner of the "All Jacked Up" drawing is at. He's not in his seat. As it zooms in closer, it reveals him knocked out along with Sinful Sabrina.

As the camera pans back up to the ring, Transfusion looks a little befuddled, but quickly regains his focus on the Prez. He lands a few rights that wobble the spaghetti-legged Prez and then goes for the D.O.A. Inviting Isabel leaps over the guardrail from seemingly out of nowhere and jumps on the apron. As Transfusion throws the Prez up in the Dominator part of the move, the Prez flails his arm and KO's the referee.

Hangman: Well, I guess the butler didn't do it this time Watson.

Snakebite: Oh well Sherlock. Let's drink to a new whodunit.

Hangman: Who done what?

Snakebite: Nevermind.

Just as the Prez starts to slip into position for the neckbreaker part of the move, Isabel throws powder into Transfusion's eyes. Transfusion drops Gray as he crumples to the mat, clawing at his eyes.Isabel stomps at Transfusion, sliding him to a corner. She then pulls his legs around the turnbuckle post and puts the figure-four on as she lays back on the outside. What seems like minutes pass as Gray makes it to the top. He carefully looks at the envelopes before picking one. He slumps down the pole as the ref comes to. As he does, Isabel releases the figure-four, and slides under the mat. The ref calls for the bell. Moments later, Isabel slides out from another side of the mat. She helps Gray to his feet as he tears open the envelope. They both read the paper and laugh, Isabel propping Gray against her as they leave together. The mic catches Gray say, "Happy won't be happy for long. It's my day Happy...MY DAY!!!!"

Winner, President Gray!

Snakebite-Well, it seems he dropped the paper he pulled lets see the stipulation..

Snakebite and Hangman leave the booth and pick up the paper. The off camera mics pick up Snakebite saying "Retirement match, Happy vs. Gray? Oh man! Jack's not gonna like this. Let's go.

The two leave, and there is a brief pause in the action. Finally, Summer and Jackson return, a little worse for wear, but apparently getting along.

FJ-I hate you.. I really do..

HS-Listen, cut that crap out. Solomon said we're fired if we keep this up. Let's just call the next match.

The ring announcer speaks into the microphone introducing our next wrestlers to enter the squared circle, first weighing 300lbs and standing 6'7" T-rel Sugah!! Rap Like Me by Too Short plays over the sound system as T-rel appears at the top of the entrance ramp. He is dressed in torn jeans and a graying white t-shirt. His black sunglasses reflect the lights as he adjusts his bandana with his free hand. He walks down the aisle and climbs into the ring. He stands in the center and raises his barbed wire encased bat to the chorus of boos that fill the arena. Next the announcer introduces Nadia and Vessa. Mr. Scary by Dokken plays over the sound system as Vessa and Nadia appear at the top of the ramp. Vessa irritably looks at Nadia taking in her fancy dress and make-up. She shakes her head in disgust and heads toward the ring with a purpose. Nadia walks slower, seductively stroking her hair as she approaches the ring. Vessa drops a duffle bag on the floor by her corner and climbs into the ring. Nadia climbs in and stand beside her.

FJ: Trouble has been brewing all this week between the participants in this match and their associates. In a fit of rage, "Sexy" Rexx Jansen almost went on a hunt for T-rel in response to his comments from an early interview. After being convinced by Vessa that she can handle herself, he changed his mind.

HS: He better be glad that he changed his mind! The streets aren't the ring and this man is definitely from the streets. But, what kind of man lets his woman step into a match where she is assuredly going to take the beating of her lifetime.

FJ: I'm not so sure about that Herb. But what about C-Rock and Nadia, it appears that there is trouble in paradise as the newcomers approached this match. Nadia has decided to attempt to seduce T-rel to make it through the match.

HS: I don't know about making through this match. But, I do know T-rel is on Nadia's mind and I don't think those thoughts are limited to the confines of the ring. It looks like C-Rock may need to find another love interest.

FJ: On to the in ring action!

Nadia immediately begin to make eyes at T-rel and blow a kiss at him before Vessa aggressively shoves her toward their corner. Nadia steps to the ring apron after rolling her eyes at Vessa. Vessa and T-rel begin taunting each other across the ring. The bell rings and T-rel charges at Vessa. She sidesteps him. T-rel angered at his failed attempt spins on his heels and stalks Vessa. He lunges again this time connecting with a short arm lariat sending Vessa to the canvas. She quickly rolls to her feet. T-rel grins a devious smile. He comes forward and Vessa catches him with a kick to the stomach. She attempts to follow up with a body slam, but its T-rel lands a viscous head butt. Vessa's knees get wobbly as he lifts her into the air with a blatant two-handed choke. The referee tries to break the choke as Vessa struggles to get loose. The referee begins the count. Before he reaches the end of his count T-rel tosses her to the canvas. She lays gasping trying to clear her head. T-rel falls forward with a diving head butt catching Vessa low. She puts her hands between her legs in pain. T-rel pulls her to her feet and lands another head butt before tossing her out over the top rope.

FJ: This guy is an animal! He doesn't care that Vessa is a woman. What is he doing now?

HS: He is wrestling his type of match. It doesn't matter who is in the ring with him. Get those wanna-be wrestlers!!

T-rel slides out of the ring and pulls a table out from under the ring. He sets it up on the floor and climbs back in the ring. Nadia has climbed in the ring and is trying to get T-rel's attention. T-rel goes to his corner to get the bat. Nadia runs up to T-rel and begins to stroke his chest. She whispers something in his ear and T-rel smiles, but abruptly pushes her to the canvas. He yells to the audience, "Business before pleasure, baby! I gotta get paid!" At that moment, Brass Monkey by the Beastie Boys is heard as C-Rock climbs over the guardrail and slides into the ring. He spins T-rel around and nails him with a couple of rights. C-Rock whips him into the ropes and attempts a clothesline that was telegraphed. T-rel ducks it and both men go into the ropes again. This time T-rel comes off the ropes and rolls nailing the Drive By with the bat. The referee calls for the bell.

FJ: Just when I thought T-rel was going to get what is coming to him. Look at Nadia!! Just standing there watching T-rel lay in the bat!

HS: What do you expect her to do? Look at Vessa she has the right idea.

Vessa is headed back up the aisle to the back. All of a sudden, Blood and Whiskey by the Dropkick Murphys is heard as Lars and El Hefe run down to the ring. They join T-rel in the ring. Lars holds C-Rock as T-rel lands some right hands of his own. C-Rock is busted open. Lars and El Hefe take C-Rock to the turnbuckles. T-rel climbs to the top turnbuckle where Lars steadies the semi-conscious C-Rock, while El Hefe slides the table a little closer. Lars and T-rel muscle C-Rock into the power bomb position. T-rel jumps landing a power bomb through the table with a loud CRASHHH! The three men get up and start to head toward the back. T-rel stops midway up the aisle and turns back toward the ring. He motions and Nadia hurries out of the ring to him. The two embrace with a deep kiss before disappearing in back

FJ: What was that? I can't believe that backstabbing tramp. Somebody get the EMTs! She just let C-Rock get destroyed and enjoyed it.

HS: Never believe a woman, Frank. They will drop you flat if they smell success on you. And Nadia likes T-rel's undefeated streak and maybe the towel in his interview.

The EMTs come out while the announcers are talking and wheel C-Rock's unconscious form from ringside. The ring announcer starts the next match as the challengers make their way to the ring. Both big men step over the top rope as they enter the ring. The Punisher has a black mask with a single diagonal red line going across it, covering his face but his short brown hair is seen between the straps of the black mask. He looks out at the audience with his blazing bright green eyes. He wears a tight black t-shirt, dark jeans, black boots and black leather gloves. He flexes as he stands next to his partner, the Creature of the Night. C.O.N. is dressed in a black bodysuit and wrestling boots. His face is painted with black and gray camouflage and his hair is braided in large braids across his head.

FJ: These two big men look like they are really up for this match. Both men have suffered a disappointing loss earlier in the week and I am sure they are set on revenge.

The ring announcer introduces the Movement. "Mudshovel" By Stained plays as the two men make their way to the ring. As soon as they climb into the ring, the two big men are on them. Sledgehammer like forearms rain down upon the two. C.O.N. dumps Vivian to the outside and makes his way to his corner. Punisher and Egil are in the ring. Punisher landing a series of mauling forearms, beating Egil to the canvas. Punisher pulls him up and sends him back down with a double thrust to the throat. Egil sputters and tries to claw his way to his corner where Vivian has appeared on the apron. Punisher grabs his leg and flips him over keeping his firm grip on the foot. He drops an elbow across the inner thigh and gets to his feet. He pulls a limping Egil to his feet but is caught with a desperate savatte kick. The kick staggers Punisher for a moment, while Egil lunges to his corner to make the tag. Vivian springboards off the top rope connecting with a cross body block; taking Punisher off of his feet and to the canvas. Vivian goes for the pin. Referee 1..kickout. The two men get to their feet and trade blows. Punisher manages to battle Vivian toward his corner where the Creature of the Night drops an axe handle blow between his shoulder blades. Punisher takes the advantage and lands the DDT. Punisher then hauls the big man to his corner and climbs to the second rope. He rains down a series of right hands before letting him fall to the canvas. Punisher climbs back up to the second rope and springs a couple of times before dropping the body press. Vivian pulls his knees up before Punisher could connect. Punisher rolls and makes the tag.

FJ: That was quick thinking by Vivian. He needs to make the tag.

HS: What kind of name is Vivian for a guy? Is he Swedish?

The Creature of the Night gets in the ring as Vivian gets to his feet. C.O.N. bulldozes him with a big clothesline. He continues on nailing Egil with a forearm shot. Egil tries to get in the ring and C.O.N. taunts him as the referee prevents him from coming back in. Punisher steps into the ring at this moment and pulls Vivian over to his corner. Punisher hits a rolling knee drop to the head. Egil redoubles his effort to get to his tag team partners corner. C.O.N. returns to his corner as both he and Punisher slide to the floor. They each grab a leg of Vivian's and pull him into the ring post. The audience groans in empathy. Egil steps back to the apron realizing his mistake. C.O.N. climbs into the ring and pulls Vivian up into a reverse suplex. C.O.N. makes the tag as he holds Vivian up in a bear hug. Punisher climbs the top rope and connects with a clothesline, for a combination clothesline power slam. C.O.N. walks to the corner. Punisher goes for the cover. The referee counts 1..2...Egil comes in with a kick to the head. He lands a series of kicks before the referee gets him back to the corner. Vivian as a result of the interference is the first to his feet. He hits the shoulder tackle taking Punisher off his feet. He then makes the tag Egil comes in and nails CON in the corner with drop kick sending him crashing to the floor. Punisher is on his feet and as Egil turns around he wraps his large hand around his neck. He hoists the man into the air and shakes his head at him. He then drives him head first into the mat

HS: What a move? He nearly caved the poor bastards skull in with that move.

FJ: Punisher with the Extreme Punishment!! This could be it.

CON gets to his feet to see the cover and Vivian beginning to enter the ring. CON slides under the ropes and gets a catches Vivian with a spear midway across the ring. The two big men crash to the canvas in a heap, as the referee counts 1...2....3!!!

FJ: The winners and new AWA Tag Team Champions are The Creature of the Night and The Punisher!!

HS: These poor guys won't be modeling anything but a few bandages over the next two days.

The screen fades as a commercial springs to life. "The English Gentleman" George Prince is seen taking a number of bumps throughout his career. Before he states, "After years of matches and punishment in the ring, there is only one true pain reliever that I look for in the locker room. BLAST AWAY!! The preferred pain reliever among wrestling insiders! After I take this product, my opponents can Blast Away for another day." The camera pulls back as Jorge Gonzales power slams him. Georges face is a huge grimace. Another voice: "Recommended by pharmacists nationwide as one of the fastest selling pain relievers in England."

The scene then cuts back to the ring, where a wedding gazebo has been set up in front of the ring, in the runway. Special guest pastor Eddie Murphy is waiting at the gazebo in a white tux. The wedding music is cued, and the brides' maides, the Texas Belle's From Hell, come to ringside. Next, C.O.N. and Punisher, the flower boys head to ringside, and toss flowers into the crowd. Lori is then led to the ring by Nightmist, and Jack Happy is led by "Coltrane" Dupree. Finally, the ring bearer, Nightmare comes to ringside, and the wedding commences.

Eddie Murphy-Bruthas and sisters, we are here today to-

Happy-Psst. Eddie. Make it kinda short, CD has to win the world title now.

Eddie-Oh, alright. (Looks to Happy) You wanna?(He nods. Eddie looks to Lori)You wanna also? (She nods) great. Kiss the bride. I'm goin home.

Happy dips Lori for a kiss, when suddenly the Dukes of Hazard Theme is cued! Then, a white rusted pickup truck with monster truck tires roars out of the entrance way, and drives straight at the gazebo. EE scatters, and the truck completely shatters the gazebo, throwing wood all over! Out of the pickup comes Irons, Steel, Jansen, and Vessa! as Vess, Irons, and Jansen run all of EE off with bats, Steel hits the ring.

FJ-Wow!Sexy Rexx has a"God Bless The NRA" shirt on!

Steel-Come on, Dream. Quit bein' a sissy-man and get out here. I gotta get this belt back t'Austin.

After a pause, "When The Smoke Clears" by Ghostface Killah is cued, and Crimson Dream slowly makes his way to the ring. He looks like a man possessed. He slides into the ring, and the two men circle as the bell rings.

FJ-And we're off! The clock is ticking, and these men are just circling each other!

The two just watch each other, as they let the minutes tick away. Finally, they lock up, and Dream quickly latches on with an armbar. Steel reverses it, however, and nails three stiff right hands to Dream's head, before dropping him with a headbutt! Steel follows him with several stomps, before pulling Dream up and hitting an inverted atomic drop. As Dream staggered in agony, Steel bounced against the ropes and leveled him with a flying lariat! Steel stomped him several more times, and then climbed to the second turnbuckle. Dream staggered to his feet, only to be dropped with a huge bulldog! Steel hooked the leg, but only got a two count. Dream got up again, but Steel fired him into the corner. Steel followed with a hard forearm, and then hit three HUGE right hands, the third completely knocking Dream to the ground. Steel pulled Dream up by his mask, and then planted him firmly with a falling slam. Dream was out cold, and Steel then pulled something out of his jeans! The ref attempted to take it away, until he realized it was just a rag. Steel then proceeded to shine his boot! As Dream slowly stood up once again, Steel measured him.

HS-Look at Dream! He looks like Terry Funk!

Dream finally made it up, and turned to face Steel just in time to catch a HUGE Keystone Kick! Steel quickly hooked the leg, and got the first pinfall!

FJ-Oh man! Steel has DOMINATED this match. 10 minutes has gone by, and the score is Steel 1 fall, Dream none.

Steel goes nuts, and taunts the crowd much to their liking. He then climbs up on the second rope, right in front of the big truck, and yells backstage, calling out Happy! Happy didn't show however, but Crimson Dream did! Dream got up groggily, but slowly began shaking in a fit of rage! With Steel's back still to him, Crimson Dream took a running leap and bulldogged Steel off the rope and down onto the hood of the car! The ref watched, helpless, as Dream lifted Steel into his infamous powerbomb, and slammed him hard onto the roof of the truck! All the glass cracked in the impact, and Steel writhed in Pain. Steel slowly got up, however, and Dream attempted to suplex Steel into the bed of the truck. Steel blocked it however, and suplexed Dream backwards onto the hood! Dream hit hard and rolled off the hood, leaning against the ring. Steel took a running leap and went for a big elbow, but Dream moved and Steel slammed into the ring hard! Dream then took the time to peel the mat back from the floor, before scoop slamming Steel on it! Dream then grabbed the ringsteps, and slammed then down on Steel. Dream then put the ringsteps up on the apron, and climbed up on it, attempting to throw it down on Steel again. Steel was ready however, and got up quickly, nailing a low blow. Steel then pulled the steel ringsteps down to the floor, and climbed up where Dream was standing. Steel rocked him with two big rights, before driving Dream's head into the ringsteps on the floor with a modified Stompin A Mud Hole DDT! Steel rolled Dream back into the ring, and the Steel scaled the turnbuckles and hit a diving headbutt for his second pinfall!

FJ-Wow! Steel has gone up TWO to nothing!

Steel then taunts the crowd again, but Dream gets up quick again! The two begin trading blows, and Steel clothesline Dream over the top rope, back onto the hood of the truck! Steel takes a diving leap over the ropes, but CD rolls off! Steel is stunned, and Dream opens the hood of the car, and sets Steel's head in it. CD rolls back into the ring and scales the top turnbuckle. Dream then leaps off the turnbuckle, and slams the hood of the door down on Steel's head! Dream rolls back in, and Steel, unconscious, can't answer the ten count!

HS-That was brutal!

FJ-And the score is 2 to 1 now! What a match!

Steel, battered, rolls back into the ring, where Dream is waiting. A groggy Steel goes to lock up with Dream, but Dream drops him into a small package for the three count!!

FJ-Amazing!

HS-It's Tied! It's tied! And we've only got 5 minutes left!

Steel is furious, and begins pounding on Dream. Steel hits a snap suplex, followed by a leg drop. Steel keeps slamming on Dream, then he sets up Dream on the turnbuckle. After a great deal of work and a valient effort from Dream to get out of it, Steel connected with a pulling piledriver from the second rope! Steel hooked the leg, but only got two and a half. The Crowd was firmly behind Steel now, and Steel nailed a Jackhammer for another two count. Dream got up once again to his feet, only to catch another Keystone Kick!

FJ-This is it!

HS-(Singing)Turn out the liiiiights, the party's overrrrr

Steel hooks the leg, but Dream kicks out!!! With only a minute left, Steel really went on the attack. Steel hit another flying lariat, but once again only getting a 2. Finally, Steel hurled a stunned Dream into the ropes, and signalled for the SAMH DDT!Steel caught Dream, but somehow Dream flipped up onto Steel's shoulders, and hits a MASSIVE Tornado DDT!with only ten second left, Dream bounds off the ropes and hits the Crimson Crush splash! In the last three seconds of the match, Dream hooked the leg, and captures the World Title!!!!

World Champion

US Champion

Cruiserweight Champion

No Limits Champion

Tag Team Champion